Moms, Get Your Swagger Back!
I realized today it’s been several months since I wrote here. Ironically, I started this blog as a pastime….Do you know why I haven’t written here in months? I don’t need a pastime. Life is busy, I wear alot of hats—-everyday—-and I like it.
Sound Familiar? I thought so! Which brings me to the reason for this post. Lately I have read what seems like a thousand tweets, statuses and posts about moms being overwhelmed and feeling like failures, beating themselves up over what isn’t done. Well, ZAP THAT!! We have 24 hours in a day. Period. It disheartens me to read such post, especially from women I know, love, and admire!
I’m not a failure and neither are you. Is everything perfect? Of course not! It wouldn’t be any fun if it was anyway. Everyday is NOT fun either–and I’m OK with that too. These things I have accepted. I admit I was once in this group of overwhelmed “super moms”, my acceptance wasn’t overnight and was met with plenty of resistance. Learning to let go wasn’t easy. Once I did, it has been an incredible freedom from myself. Being your own worst enemy is poison to your mind, and your spirit. For me, the smile returned, the feeling of wanting to do and explore more took over, the activities picked up, and I began to think of what I could do next. That feeling keeps me on the go all the time now. I took chances, without nets…a year ago I would not have even considered them. Currently, I have more “projects” than I have ever had. I don’t think of any of them as overwhelming or depressing.
I DARE YOU to accept it too. Here’s 5 good reasons you should:
* Effort is not overrated. Bring your effort everyday and that is all you need.
* Happy, well-adjusted kids should be our #1 priority.
* You deserve time for yourself, and time to do what you enjoy…last I checked, we did not give up being human for being mom.
* Letting go of some things to accomplish others is a very powerful and rewarding feeling.
* Once you accept and display your value, others will to.
Best of all, I enjoy my kids more now. I know they are watching me and I’m proud of what they see. I am confident they will remember these things:
our childhood was happy…mom worked hard and played hard…mom didn’t succeed at everything she tried, but she tried again….Mom had fun, laughed alot and loved us beyond words…mom did the best she could… she wasn’t perfect and she wasn’t afraid to show us she wasn’t…mom taught us it was ok to be myself.
That is success!!…Forget the extra load of laundry!!
It’s still true, I am a borderline perfectionist. I say “borderline” sarcastically because those who know me, know I will still stay up to 2am to get the bathroom cleaned because that was on my to-do list for today, not tomorrow. I’m up at 3am writing this because I wanted to finish it today! My kids will tell you, a sloppy house puts me in a bad mood, and I can’t stand when the back seat of my car is full of their junk. Everyone has their peeves. I’ve just learned to accept mine, deal with it and move on. They no longer consume me. I have better things to do.
This blog has long represented my journey. Today, I re-read some old posts and both laughed and cried. I have come a long way in 2 years. I don’t know why I made it such a priority today after neglecting it for months, but I did, and it feels great. I will commit to it again.
I challenge you to take the baby steps needed to get your swagger back. Your family and friends want YOU…not a maid, nanny, gofer or frumpy has-been. Get up, get motivated…take it one day at a time! Start with your mind…STOP TELLING YOURSELF WHAT YOU DO NOT DO!! A rubber band works, put it around your wrist and pop yourself every time you are beating yourself up. Let go, the images of women are unrealistic. Work like a man, look like a little girl, cook like a master chef, dress like a goddess, and raise the fearless leaders of tomorrow… It’s unrealistic. More than that, it’s unfair.
Here’s 5 good ways to get started:
*Write down what you DID get done everyday
* Pick your battles with your kids, some are not worth fighting or getting upset over
* Keep a journal
* Get up and get dressed like you’re meeting your best client…even if you’re at home working alone… your confidence will soar
* Take time each day for you. One activity a day that means NOTHING to anyone else.